Think South Park, but solely for male chauvanists

Category: Books
Recommender: Nick
Title: The Alphabet of Manliness
Author: Maddox
Copyright: 2006
Ridiculous Scale: Rocked

Nick is an ass.  He was the first to take advantage of the rule that, no matter what he recommended, I would be forced to read it.  Jerk.

I lived with Nick while I was studying for my master’s degree and he was a lowly peon still struggling for his undergrad.  Granted, that difference has little to do with skill or smarts and everything to do with age, but whatever.  While living with him, Nick taught me about World of Warcraft, indie and emo bands that mostly I don’t like though there are exceptions, and a complete acceptance of populace things regardless of what my elitist tendencies lead me to think.  I taught him about the somewhat misguided stereotypes of homos, disc golf, and the importance of trying sushi even though it sounds and looks like the scariest shit on earth.  It was a win-win situation.

With this in mind, I should have known that he would not steer me in the wrong direction when recommending The Alphabet of Manliness.  But seriously, look at the cover!  The only reason I would ever have any desire to pick up this book is because the guy has nice abs.  But even then, it’s in kind of a scary Fabio-gone-horribly-wrong sort of way.  And the thing is like an encyclopedia.  Those are good for maybe the first few entries, but usually become utterly repetitive by the letter E.

Needless to say, this book is effing hilarious.  Mind you, it’s hysterical in the most abhorrent and offensive of ways…but it’s still awesome.  Maddox is also the author of the self-proclaimed Best Page in the Universe (which, at its inception, could have been closer to truth, since it’s been around since 1997).  Maddox goes through the alphabet, covering one topic per letter (i.e. B is for Boner, K is for Knockers, and U is for Urinal Etiquette).  Each topic tends to come with an overview, detailed descriptions of examples, and numerous illustrations (all provided by fans of his site, some of which are excellent).

My favorite chapter had to be G is for Gas.  I laughed extensively throughout it (on the Metro, in fact) and read a few selected passages to friends.  I’m kind of a sucker for a well-played fart joke.  I would say it’s one of the few sections that Maddox isn’t horribly sexist and evil, but he manages to persist on that throughout the entire book.

The main thing that bothers me about this book is the guys that will take it seriously.  I read it, laughing, in hopes that everyone else thinks it’s as big of a joke as I do.  What I worry about are the men that read it and think, “Hell, yeah.  The only things women are good for are Female Wrestling (letter F) and Copping a Feel (letter C).  I know that guys like Nick don’t necessarily think along those lines, but there are certainly those that don’t know satire and what-not when they see it.  There is also some serious homophobia, but I tend to read it as a big joke as well.  It seems more along the lines of jokes by Colbert than jabs by O’Reilly, so I’ll just go with that.  Hopefully most others will do the same.